Chapter 3 | State Clearly

Everyone has responsibilities: to family, to work, to society, to oneself.

Some responsibilities we take on voluntarily; others are assigned to us. Regardless, responsibility is an indispensable part of life.

Stating clearly means facing these responsibilities honestly, not avoiding them.

Let's sort through your responsibilities.

Caring for family, commitments at work, promises to friends, promises to yourself...

This exercise helps you list your responsibility checklist and think about how to better fulfill these responsibilities.

While sorting through responsibilities, we often encounter difficult decisions: Should I accept a high-risk treatment? Should I change my current family structure? Should I hold onto a certain belief?

These decisions often affect the quality of the rest of your life. We need a more rational tool than 'going with your gut' to guide our thinking.

'The Three Questions' uses values, psychological expectations, and scarcity as three dimensions to probe deeply. It doesn't provide answers, but it acts as a mirror reflecting your truest trade-offs and boundaries, helping you make decisions without regret.

An advance directive (Living Will) is a medical wish statement written in advance while you are still clear-minded. It's not a will giving up treatment, but a legal document that speaks for you when you can no longer make decisions.

In your final days, do you want life-sustaining medical measures? Where do you want to spend your remaining time? What things do you want your family to know that you've never been able to say?

Thoughtfully consider and articulate your five wishes — preserving your final dignity and choices. This directive isn't cold legal language; it's your final act of gentleness to your family — letting them not have to guess your wishes in difficult times.

Who is the person you trust most? When you can no longer make decisions for yourself, who do you want to speak on your behalf?

A designated decision-maker isn't predetermined by birth — it's your active choice. This person could be your spouse, child, close friend, or even a professional institution.

Choosing a designated agent isn't just about picking someone 'reliable.' Consider: Do they understand your values? Can they make decisions under pressure? Are they willing to take on this responsibility?

This exercise helps you systematically evaluate and choose your designated agent.

You've made it here, completing the core work of the 'State Clearly' chapter.

You've sorted your responsibility checklist, identified what's urgent and important, and what needs advance transition planning. You've examined the real trade-offs behind major decisions, and written down your five wishes in advance directives — those things you want your family to know but never found the words to say.

You've evaluated who can be your designated agent, and where no suitable person exists, learned about professional alternatives. These aren't cold procedures — they are your final order and tenderness left for this world.

Stating clearly isn't pessimism — it's responsibility. It ensures you leave no regrets behind. These arrangements don't need to be completed all at once — you can come back anytime to revise, supplement, or update. Life changes, and your arrangements can change too.